SIR. Lay Preacher Kenneth Albumen (Letters, October 3) may damn Kay Patey but we Pastafarians are a broad churcha.

It is a beautiful thing to be spiritually enriched by a touch of His noodly appendage and we give our blessings to Him for Kay Patey's stroke of good luck.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster will welcome Mrs Patey in the noodly ever-after.

After all, a bingo hall would fit very nicely beside the beer volcano and stripper factory.

Unlike Mecca Bingo, the joyless Albumen will never see a full house.

Hear that!

BRENDAN O'BRIEN, Nightingale Lane, SW12