Since I composed my last letter I have tested out my theory of urban foxhunting and found that it works admirably well.
On Saturday afternoon I rounded up some boys in my neighbourhood whose parents have despaired of them and appealed to me for help. These boys are for the most part delinquent; many have criminal records for petty violence and drug peddling.
I dug out my father's Webley service revolver - which I keep well-oiled and in full working order, for we live in "interesting times" - and formed a squadron of cyclists, with me in the lead on my ancient, gearless "Special Sunbeam Light Roadster" bicycle (a fine work of British Engineering).
We patrolled the streets, looking for the perfidious vulpine scavenger.
We chased the fox down several alleyways, over a railway footbridge, down a cinder path and across a football pitch or two. The boys were highly excited, focused on the chase and shouting and waving their arms. This was adolescent energy being used healthily. We finally cornered the creature on an allotment.
I swiftly put it out of its misery and then we repaired to my house, where I skinned and gutted the beast and used its flesh for an excellent barbecue - I can report its flavour as being of the gamiest variety. I boiled the heart for Sunday lunch - offally good! The boys returned to their homes tired and happy - no hanging around on street corners for them that night!
Dr Kenneth Tinker
Via email
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