It is paradoxical that, to deal with the queues to the grotto, Bentalls is cutting down the hours and days when Father Christmas is available.

In the first of my 13 years as Father Christmas we experienced long queues at certain times of the day.

To deal with this, in subsequent seasons, the grotto was built with two throne rooms. The two entrances were closed off by a single door, acting like a valve.

When the queue began to lengthen, the off-duty Father Christmas would man the second throne. A young saleswoman would be taken off the till, and promoted to Door Elf.

Ushering groups of visitors through alternate doors, she would distract them with Yuletide small talk - so they were unaware that another Father Christmas was operating the other side of a richly decorated sheet of hardboard.

IAIN INNES BURGESS

Cedars Road, Hampton Wick